Friday, June 17, 2011

Never Give Up

What it takes to go till the end of what you've started?
How does it feel when you're fed up of things you once loved?
Are you afraid of failure? Rejection?
Well.

I came across this quote some months back, which says:
When the world says "give up", hope whispers "give it another try".

I didn't understand what it means. All i know was that it was fine looking and that it was just another line. Maybe during the past two weeks i have learnt how deep this line is and how well it fitted in my life.

It started all fine. I was excited. I was happy. I was all thrilled to start a new journey. Where I'll discover new people,new places and maybe I'll discover more about myself. I knew it was the beginning of something really great and I knew it is important. It has to be. Everyone was talking about it. But I did not know how I would get where I wanted to be. Leaving fear and doubts, I set myself to work, giving everything I could to make it happen. I'm a perfectionist,well at least I believe I am one.

I can't remember where it went wrong. I could no longer control things-and people-around me. I was fed up. I was angry. I wanted to run away.
Wouldn't it be cowardice? No,i said to myself, it's only saving myself from  boredom and frustration.
Should I really leave it all? Yes!
But, how about the others? Stop caring about them,they never cared?
oh,yeah? Yeah.
But they are my responsibility! No,they are not!
Yes they are!  
And the battle between me and me continued and it became tedious.

I was annoyed at every single things. It was difficult. Very difficult. I even made Far-ha upset with my stupid mood swings. The reins of my life was slowly slipping from my hands and I could do nothing. I was just a mere spectator. I was teary at every single words one would say! Sometimes I made sure those tears were evacuated cause holding them was becoming a tough job.
I had exams over that. I'll skip the 3 hours exams part. Writing a paper when you are running a fever is not cool at all. But I managed somehow.

After that everything goes blank for 20 hours.

This is where you start to reflect on what really happened.
Hard times are gone. Yeah GONE! Actually it wasn't that hard! It was bearable! You finally have something out of those hard times. You actually grow and learn from everything. You learn even if you're down, gloomy, and grey. You learn at every step in life. And the feeling of accomplishment is so great when you see what you have been able to achieve in the phase you thought was the worst. YES I have made it. I have been able to reach where I wanted to be. In fact I'm twice as happy and excited as I was when the journey started. I have met new people. Made new friends. Discovered things I ignored about old friends.

Never give up. I'm happy I never did. I'm happy I listened to that dim inner voice which kept telling me to go on when I was shouting and crying and wailing. Maybe that was hope. Or maybe it was some weird force you learn to discover only when faced with hardships. Or maybe that's the beauty of life. 

3 comments:

ZOu said...

I didn't understand a word of what you said :P

But yeah, I am very happy you wrote, and write amazing as usual (:
I did understand btw eh :P Joke it was ♥

Anii said...

oooh...i really thought you haven't understood. glad it was a joke,else i would have deleted this blog :)
i didn't want to make it sound like i'm telling about what really HAPPENED :)

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